Nzt
For legal reasons, I will first begin by stating that the following content, as well as any other content that may have been and may be posted on this blog in perpetuity (this blog referring to any page or document present at or accessible through and/or relating to the root folder https://daviddragan1.github.io/_blog/ and associated “artefacts” (e.g. files on a local drive pertaining to the blog (i.e. the files unto which the content was initially written before they were committed to the hosted repository (root folder aforementioned)))) that discusses in any manner of detail the alleged use of drugs, recreational or otherwise, or any other incriminating topic, is purely fictional and for entertainment only. As such, in addition to the aforementioned, any direct incriminatory proclamations such as “I stole a silver spoon” shall be discounted and cannot be considered an admission of guilt on the grounds that it is fictional.
The author does not offer any sort of advice on these topics to readers and the content should not be interpreted as such. Furthermore, the author cannot accept any liability resulting, directly or indirectly, from acts deemed to have been directly or indirectly motivated or inspired, in whole or in part, by actions or topics discussed in or surrounding this blog carried out by any person.
Armodafinil
It’s been 3 days since my last post - how the days flew me by! Well, I’ve been busy.
Armodafinil, my clairvoyance elixir, my finely polished crystal ball…
One, in reading such a statement, may naturally detect a subtle tone of contentedness, to say the very least, and such an assumption would not be misplaced. In fact, I feel as though I have stumbled, in a dim drunken stupor, upon a resplendent beacon of light, magnificent in its brilliance.
I feel I have systematically achieved more in the past three days than I have in the preceding two weeks. The focus, the clarity, the lifting of that dreaded brain fog - it is as though well and truly all brain functions are elevated above the measly, mundane 10% (10% already being a generous figure to attribute to most people).
As a result I found any manner of task, from menial “below me” grunt work, to more cognitively demanding challenges became more enjoyable, and beating them off the list one by one like they owe me rent only compounded my willingness.
No lack of motivation, no procrastination - in fact, I became irritated by the involuntary reflex to reach for the phone - to the point I don’t want to scroll, not in the nagging “I shouldn’t be doing this… eh maybe one more yt short…. eh maybe just one more”, but an actual visceral repulsion to sloth.
So 1 point towards productivity, what else? I also like that it doesn’t feel like you’re on anything. For the first time in a while I felt comfortable with who I am, dare one say confident - I’ve always been able to find joy in simple things, and haven’t had a problem seeing the good side of things/people (in fact I’m a little naïve in this respect), but I hold myself, as I’ve mentioned, to an ever-distancing standard that only grows with any achievement, denying myself credit for fear of complacency, and for the first time in a long, long time, I felt confident in my competencies.
Waking up is easier - gone are the days of waking up early with keen regard for the day ahead but ruining it with the sinking realisation you’ve been absently scrolling for three hours in bed and now the entire remainder of the day is to be a foggy slog. The headache, the frustration, only amplified by the incessant yawning - the ugly naked soul-rotting beast of sloth grips me no more.
I will most likely continue to write on my (alleged and fictional) experiments with cognitive accelerants - it seems like the stars are aligning: my academic/career interests and pursuits are in the AI Learning/AI-Enhanced Cognition meta, and now I’m beginning to experiment on my own God-given cognition machine alongside. Call it destiny, call it connecting the dots, but the chain of events seem to have primed me for some sort of break - at least I earnestly hope so. I yearn most deeply, in every waking minute, to contribute to the progression of humanity, to exact my purpose, but all in due time.
It’s like the movie
Yes, it’s like “Limitless”, in the same way all movies are like real life: fundamentally they reflect life (obviously, they’re about humans doing human things), but exaggerated for the silver screen - otherwise it’d be boring. Armodafinil, in my (admittedly limited) experience is pretty much exactly like NZT, except with maybe like 20% of the intensity. For me, the headaches are real too, which I’m not so excited about. I also found myself (only today, after being antagonised, in all fairness) being slightly more irritable but the data is inconclusive at present. The headaches happened 2 days in a row and its like a pulsing migraine in the mid to lower forehead, right above the eyebrows where the sort of “lipping” of the brow transitions up into flatter skull. They’re pretty bad but not terrible and they came and went towards the late evening, staying hydrated eradicates the issue, and I do have the fault of not drinking enough water so maybe this will indirectly be another plus.
For now, I bid you farewell, non-existent internet friend - unless you’re a nice lawyer man looking for incriminating evidence (which you won’t find because this is a fictional story), in which case, I hope both sides of your pillow are hot and you get a better job :)